My Most Hated Clichés About Russia

My Most Hated Clichés About Russia

 

Jim Kovpak

Russia Without BS

May 03, 2019

 

When I first founded my blog Russia Without BS, one of the main things I wanted to do was attack stereotypes and do away with many of the clichés that are so common in writing about Russia. Taking inspiration from a 2009 article entitled Five Worst Clichés of Russia Reporting by Michael Idov, I’ve decided it’s high time I start making a list of the clichés that have driven me up the wall in the past 10 years.

 

Russia is so different from the West!

 

I’ll never forget the first time I visited that mysterious, exotic country which is unlike any other. I had studied it for many years, and one of my grandfathers was born there, but there was something about actually making this journey that made all the difference in the world. once you actually go there, you understand how far from America you’ve truly ventured. The people have a completely different manner of speaking and writing. You may recognize the words but the mentality is something far beyond the comprehension of most Americans. Their humor comes close to that of us Yanks, but there’s something about it that just doesn’t translate, and to be honest I like their way better. Its cuisine is multinational, filled with exotic dishes from Asia. It is a nation proud of its traditions, though they freely admit that some of them are somewhat embarrassing. From its humble beginnings as a remote backwater, this land which was once conquered and put under the yoke of foreign invaders would later wage its own conquest and forge a vast empire. We Americans think we know this nation. We think we understand its people. The truth is, however, that this is a truly unique nation and we are vastly different from them. As the reader has no doubt guessed, I am referring to England.

 

What? England? Yeah okay, I cheated a little by replacing the “West” with America, seeing as how England and the UK are considered indisputably Western, but my point is this- all nations are unique. If people want to label Russia “not Western,” I would challenge them to explain why they don’t do the same for Hungary, Croatia, Serbia, Greece, Poland, or Estonia. I’d especially challenge those who so enthusiastically declare Ukraine a “European” country and then contrast it with Russia. Both countries suffer from very similar social problems, and many of both nationalities share a frighteningly near-identical mentality.

 

There are very complex reasons for challenging this cliché, but for the sake of brevity I will simply say that if anything makes Russia so different from “the West” it is to be found in 70 years of Soviet rule, when the country was run by a radically different system from most of what we see as “the West.” For better or worse, this peculiar system managed to have a major cultural impact not only on Russia, but many of the other Soviet republics and to a lesser extent some other nations of the Eastern Bloc.

 

Secondly, there is nothing terribly “Eastern” about Russia. Influence of Mongols and other steppe people? Have you ever heard of Ottoman rule in the Balkans? The Russian language is an Indo-European tongue, and their religion is Christianity. “Eastern” Orthodoxy to be sure, but let’s face it- all Christianity originates in Palestine and Judaism.

 

The “Russia is soooo unique and different” cliché is basically fetishization. It would seem that expat writers and “extreme” travel journalists cling to this cliché out of a latent or perhaps open desire to appear more hardcore and rugged to the Western audience back home. If that’s the case I have one piece of advice. If you think Russia is so wild and exotic, try China or India.

 

 

Shoehorning Russian literary references into everything

 

Yes, we get it, you read War and Peace. But was it really necessary to compare the Moscow metro at rush hour to the battle of Austerlitz, or did you just want everyone to know you read it? From the age of 17-19, when I was in peak Russia-obsession, I read a number of classic Russian novels- War and Peace, Brothers Karamazov, Crime and Punishment, to name the big three. After that period I decided I’d earned enough Russian literature points and moved on to other topics. Don’t get me wrong- the experience was enriching but it was far from life-changing. I can at least say these novels did little to advance my knowledge of Russia and Russian history both when I was still in the States and after I moved here.

 

Russians, of course, take great pride in their classical literature and a working knowledge of those classics will certainly open doors and make friends. But it’s worth remembering that history is left to historians and not novelists. Novels of this sort, apart from all the thing fictional literature has to offer, can at best only show us how people in another era viewed their contemporary surroundings as well as their perception of their own history.

 

I realize treating Russian literature this way will no doubt make me plenty of enemies. Just to be fair I should point out that I have had a prejudice in favor of non-fiction nearly all my life. But in my defense I have a simple test, one which I think is very helpful in determining whether or something is a Russia cliché. The rule is simple: Would you do this to your own country? Or in other words: How would you react if foreigners did this with your country?

 

Would you, American, find it odd if foreign writers shoehorned Mark Twain or Ernest Hemingway references into their stories, especially if the analogy clearly didn’t fit? Must any article about the UK involve a reference to the works of Shakespeare or Sir Arthur Conan Doyle? Granted, I’m sure a lot of writers do engage in this kind of “look-how-cultured-I-am” behavior, but would you consider that to be a good thing?

 

 

GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!

 

This is a very complex and multifaceted topic about which I have written thousands of words and yet barely scratched the surface. For the sake of brevity I’m going to stick closely to the topic of writing clichés.

 

This is one that never fails to grind my gears, and it is found in pieces about Russia and Ukraine. Essentially there are two sides to this cliché- prostitution and mail-order brides. Let me make something absolutely clear- prostitution, including human trafficking and sex slavery, is still a very big problem in Russia and Ukraine though many prefer to ignore it. And yes, both countries have their foreign marriage industries. The problem is, however, that a lot of other countries also have these things and yet somehow journalists manage to write hundreds of stories about those countries without ever bringing up the topic.

 

I’m not saying that journalists shouldn’t cover these topics in Russia and Ukraine, but oftentimes it seems like they absolutely have to, even when it really has little relevance to current events. I’m reminded of such a “story” which occurred right around the time of the ruble collapse in late 2014.

 

At the time I’d just got my start in professional journalism, and the ruble collapse was a wellspring of serious news stories. The Apple Store temporarily suspended operations in Russia so as to revise its prices. Some luxury auto manufacturers did the same. But for many media outlets, a major story that deserved publication was about sex workers in Murmansk allegedly raising their prices in order to keep up with inflation. Incidentally, the report actually came from a Russian outlet which in my experience is somewhat sketchy, but English-language media lapped up the story nonetheless because…hookers!

 

During my nearly ten years in Russia, I have never seen evidence of prostitution thrust in my face at any time. The closest it came was back around 2011-2014 when these migrants were passing out a publication called Flirt on the streets, but even then prostitution in Russia never seemed more in-your-face than in the US. I can say the same about Ukraine as well, though if Moscow has become less of a destination for sex tourism it is probably because of years of prohibitive costs (of the city, accommodation, etc.) plus the visa requirements. If you’re walking around Moscow or Kiev and can’t seem to stop being reminded of prostitution, perhaps you’re looking for it, and that brings me to another point.

 

Many expat writers try hard to distance themselves from the so-called “sexpats” and “losers” who can’t attract women in their home country. However, you often wonder if the writer is trying to convince himself more than the audience. If you can’t find anything else to write about in Ukraine or Russia other than sex workers, brothels, foreigners hunting for women, and foreigner-hunting would-be brides then you just might be a sexpat yourself. Even if that’s not the case, your writing, which almost inevitably reduces Slavic women to helpless damsels-in-distress with descriptions more befitting a breed of horse than a human being, is no doubt being devoured eagerly by would-be sexpats. Every article you publish no doubt moves them one inch closer to getting their online TEFL certificate so they can move to Moscow, Kiev, or some worse off city and then try to take advantage of endemic corruption, war, and economic privation for the sake of sexual gratification.

 

For the reader out there let me say this- whatever debauchery you might read about that takes place in the clubs of Moscow or Kiev will easily be matched if not exceeded by other major cities throughout the world. As for foreign men and local girls it’s really simple- if you’re reasonably good-looking, have decent social skills, and a good personality, you won’t have any trouble dating and you’ll have an advantage because being foreign makes you automatically exotic. If you fail to meet these standards, you will be limited to the sort of woman who is willing to forego these things for the sake of money, foreign citizenship, or whatever. You will not find that perfect woman the mail-order site is telling you about, who fulfills all your wishes and showers you with love and affection while demanding nothing from you. I’m terribly sorry, but getting by in society requires contribution on your part.

 

Random Russian words

 

This is kind of like the cliché about literary references, except it applies to peppering any piece about Russia with a potpourri of random Russian words and references- Stalin, vodka, gopniks, pelmeni, matryoshka, nuclear weapons, Putin in an article not about Putin, etc. Using my aforementioned trip to London as an analogy once again, imagine if you ran across an article like this:

 

Life in modern day England (as opposed to the Victorian era, about which I happen to be very knowledgeable, by the way) is hotter than tea and more action packed than a double-decker red bus! But the real Trafalgar square of this piece is about accommodation in London, which can be more expensive than the crown jewels and one needs the detective skills of none other than Sherlock Holmes so as to find a reasonably priced flat. Searching online for a place might leave you feeling like the Lady with the Lamp, feeling about in the dark like a soot-covered 7-year-old chimney sweep. But don’t worry- you don’t have to quit India so soon! My article on expat accommodation will give you the advice you need to become a William the Conqueror of London real estate faster than it takes you to finish your bangers and mash…BUCKINGHAM PALACE! HARRY POTTER! THE HMS PRINCE OF WALES! I AM AN ASSMILATED LONG-TERM EXPAT! YOU WILL RECOGNIZE HOW ASSIMILATED I AM TO THIS CULTURE!

 

Yes, I’m using a little hyperbole there, but believe me when I say that I’ve seen a lot of expat writers in Russia get frighteningly close to this level of idiocy. Even worse, I’ve encountered one who seemed to have been unable to stop writing in this manner even when interacting directly with another American.

 

If it’s annoying when you apply it to your country, then it’s annoying applied to Russia. Use references when they are appropriate, and remember one more thing. Just as the nearest emergency exit on a plane may be behind you, the most appropriate analogy for something in Russia might actually be outside of Russia and its history.