European Countries, Ranked from Worst to First

European Countries, Ranked from Worst to First

By Max DeNike

Far & Wide

on October 17, 2019

Europe — the land of high culture, high fashion, delicious food and centuries-spanning history. What’s not to love? 

We asked ourselves this question and decided there are actually plenty of things not to love about Europe. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but a good deal of Europe’s 44 official countries, as recognized by the UN, have no business being among the Greeces, Spains and Swedens of the continent. 

Armed with the knowledge that, in fact, not all of Europe is so superior to the rest of the world, we set out to decide which countries are enviable and which ones just aren’t. We’re wholly certain many readers will be astonished by our conclusions. Which is to say, we fully expect many people will vehemently disagree.  

Here’s our ranking of European countries, from worst to first. 

44. Holy See (Vatican City)

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Even if you’re a true believer, why would you come here? It’s so crowded that the only thing you’ll actually “see” are the sweaty bodies of the 10 million others who were let through the gates at the exact same time, all with camera phones at the ready. 

Sights like the Sistine Chapel and St. Peter’s Basilica are incredibly impressive, sure, but as “The Chicago Tribune” accurately put it, “overtourism [is] gripping the great treasures of humanity."

43. Russia

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Check out this photo and there will be no mystery as to what Russia is today and why it landed in this spot. We fear you, Vlad, we fear you mightily.  

More seriously, we’ll admit that the European part of Russia has its charms — Moscow and St Petersburg offer much in the way of history and culture — but a tense political situation and brutal weather make the country a hard sell on the whole. Plus, as the U.S. Embassy puts it bluntly, “The Russian government maintains a restrictive and complicated visa regime for foreigners who visit.” Pass.

42. Belarus

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Easily the worst of the former Soviet republics, this place is ruled by a dictator and photography is forbidden everywhere you’d want to take a picture. If you’ve had a few drinks you can forget about taking the subway in Minsk — security is known to keep people who seem at all intoxicated off the trains. Oh, and Minsk has been named the worst city in all of Europe.

If you value freedom and human rights, go literally anywhere else. 

41. Monaco

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This European country is small to the point of absurdity — at 499 acres, it’s roughly the size of New York City’s Central Park. And yet, despite its micro-size, it manages to pack in a ton of ungodly-rich people, with 32 percent of the population made up of millionaires.

This ensures plenty of outrageous behavior from trust-fund kids who seem to think the rules don’t apply to them, plus over-the-top events like the Monaco Yacht Show that are essentially inaccessible to anyone who’s not fabulously loaded. 

That’s fine — the uber-rich can have their gold-plated toilet seats and 2 kilometers of French Riviera. We’ll go somewhere we can actually afford to have a good time in.

40. United Kingdom

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What’s wrong with the UK, you’re wondering? Well, where do we even begin? 

We actually wonder why anyone would want to visit this place, let alone live there. The food is drab and the weather is worse. They serve beer at room temp. The museums are free, but they stole the art from cultures with far superior artists. Oh, and a certain current political situation has the country in a state of complete and utter disarray. 

There’s much for history-buffs to love — we have to give it that — but that’s true in tons of European countries that also have a lot more good stuff going on.

39. Moldova

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We feel sorry for Moldova, as it’s easily Europe’s most forgotten country. With fewer than 150,000 annual visitors, it’s one of the least-visited nations in the world. Its people are also among the least happy on Earth, in part because the country hasn’t recovered well from Soviet rule (have any of us really?).

Moldova is something of a living time capsule of that period, in fact. Which, if you're into that — you do you.

38. Liechtenstein

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This landlocked microstate between Austria and Switzerland is the birthplace of the greatest pop artist of all time, Roy Lichtenstein. Actually that’s not true at all — their names aren’t even spelled the same. Nothing noteworthy has ever happened in Liechtenstein, a country routinely described as straight-up “boring,” which is why you’ll forget it as fast as you read this. 

37. San Marino

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If you thought San Marino was a small Southern California city with luxe real estate where it’s always sunny, you were spot on. But there’s another San Marino, too: this European country landlocked by Italy that’s half the size of San Francisco.

Its greatest claim to fame is that it has more cars than people, largely due to its tax-haven status. Also, it’s super-old — around since 301 AD, it’s the oldest republic on Earth. 

 Other than that...well, there’s not much to say.

36. North Macedonia

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Yugoslavia left a bunch of countries in its path of destruction in the 1990s, when it was broken up during a period of extreme political upheaval. And perhaps no nation is worse off now than North Macedonia, which you’ve never heard of and will never visit. Among many lingering issues, corruption is an enduring issue here and it’s one of the most polluted countries in Europe. 

That said, the nation is working hard to improve — it’s even in talks to join the EU — so maybe one day in the distant future it will land on some bucket lists? Hey, stranger things have happened.

35. Iceland

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We get it, Iceland, you’re pretty. You have strange geographical anomalies, weird lights appear in your skies at various times of the year, your residents are friendly to a fault and your hotels are made of ice. 

But a lot of your cool features come with major downsides. Sure, the Northern Lights are amazing, but they’re extremely elusive, and the trade-off is near-total darkness for months on end. Your unique natural beauty has made you extremely over-touristed, which in turn is making you less beautiful. And it turns out sleeping in an ice hotel, while awesome for Insta shots, is in no way comfortable. Because, well, it involves sleeping on ice.

Also, we just think the whole layover offer is so pathetic and wastes time we’d rather be spending in the less icy parts of Europe.

34. Montenegro

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The coolest part about this small Balkan country is how weirdly tall everyone is — the average height is more than 6 feet.

Otherwise, Montenegro is mostly known for its extremely aggressive drivers, who have rightfully been described as “insane.” 

Also, according to TripAdvisor, the country’s architecture “is not, in the main of an imaginative or attractive style.” Translation: It’s pretty ugly. 

33. Andorra

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Skiing and duty-free shopping are your only reasons for existence. We could just go to Oregon for that, where there’s better beer and legal cannabis. 

32. Luxembourg

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We’re really tired of the European microstate. These places all seem to exist because of some long-standing feud that literally no one who presently lives there understands or cares about at all. 

The one thing you’ve got going for you, Luxembourg, is that one of your official languages is Luxembourgish, which sounds like you’re only partly committed to it. And since only half your population speaks it, that’s pretty appropriate. 

31. Malta

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It’s small and full of history. It’s got a little bit of Italian flavor and some influence from Northern Africa. It’s a Mediterranean archipelago. What could possibly go wrong? A lot, it turns out. 

The small islands that comprise Malta are overcrowded with tourists and residents. The beaches, the destination's main draw, are particularly swarmed with crowds. And worst of all, the food is generic and chain-heavy. 

Next.

30. Slovenia

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Slovenia is one of Europe’s greenest countries and that’s about it. There’s nothing particularly noteworthy about this former Yugoslav republic except that it’s near cooler countries — its neighbors are Austria, Italy, Croatia and Hungary, which must give it an incredible chip on its shoulder. 

If you’re the type who vacations for the sleep, this is your destination. There’s so little to do here that you can sleep for days without feeling guilty or missing anything. 

29. Bosnia and Herzegovina

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Another one of Tito’s children from socialist Yugoslavia, Bosnia and Herzegovina could be higher on this list. It survived the last major war of the 20th century and has come a long way since then. The people are warm, the food is rich and decadent, the wilds are super-wild, it’s dirt-cheap to travel here. Plus the cities are vibrant and unafraid of their conflict-filled past. 

The problem is how incredibly difficult it is to get around, thanks to a dearth of major highways and poor road conditions. Better brush up on those donkey-caravan-passing skills. 

28. Switzerland

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If we were comparing European countries to jobs, the land of chocolate and snowsports would be the CPA. It’s well-educated and wealthy, just kind of boring.

There’s nothing wrong with it — not in the least — but the food and nightlife scenes aren’t particularly thrilling, especially compared to other European countries. And the cleanliness and tidiness the country is known for can also make it feel a little sterile.

We like accountants as much as the next person. We just don't want to party with them, you know?

27. Ukraine

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How the heck did Ukraine end up here? Pretty much only because of its hatred for Russia, which is admirable under any circumstances. Otherwise, this place is about as depressing as you’d imagine for a former Soviet republic — and one where the greatest nuclear disaster in history took place.

26. Finland

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When we think of Nordic countries we are always surprised to remember that Finland exists. 

In the pro column: It’s the happiest place on Earth. 

In the con column: It’s way up there, which means it’s dark and cold. And it’s entertainment is, um, questionable — wife carrying, swamp soccer and mosquito hunting are all popular.

25. Bulgaria

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In Bulgaria, you nod your head when you mean no and shake it for yes. But other than this confusing quirk, it’s a great place with a deep history. 

The Cyrillic alphabet was invented here; its yogurt contains a special bacteria that only exists in Bulgaria; UNESCO says the country’s official calendar is the most accurate in the world; and they revere an old blind lady named Vanga who predicts the future. Cool!

24. Norway

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Norway is fairly middling when it comes to Europe. The food is sometimes questionable (they eat sheep heads and cure fish with lye) and most of the year it’s freezing and dark. But they did invent the cheese slicer and also have more reindeer than anyone would ever need, so there’s that.

23. Albania

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We largely forgot Albania existed until about 5 minutes ago. No offense, it’s just a really small country surrounded by more interesting countries. And no one has ever said, “Gee, I really wish we’d visited Albania this time.” 

The country touts a fairly dramatic Adriatic coastline, gorgeous mountains and a bunch of cool old castles. But the most interesting thing about Albania is that, totally randomly, it has some of the best internet service in Europe. Who knew?

22. Slovakia

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Not to be confused with souvlaki, the delicious Greek barbecue dish, Slovakia is somewhere in Europe, we’re sure of it. 

Just kidding, this country is actually pretty interesting, thanks in large part to its abundance of caves and castles. Fun fact: It has more castles per person than anywhere else in the world.

21. Romania

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This country is like the cool goth kid of Europe. It’s proudly defiant, with a completely different language and alphabet than all those other Slavic nations. And much of its identity is wrapped around a guy named Vlad the Impaler (the original Dracula).

Honestly, we’re into it.

20. Serbia

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Many will scoff at this ranking, saying Serbia isn’t even located in Europe (it’s some vast tundra of middle Russia, right?) Oh, poor uncultured soul. If not for its abysmal nationalist politics and icy relations with neighbors, we’d rank Serbia much higher for one reason: rakija (rah-key-uh). It’s a plum spirit and the national beverage, and everyone has a family member who makes it. 

Make friends with a Serb and drink to your health.

19. Lithuania

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Kudos to Lithuania for telling the Soviets to shove it back in 1990 and starting the breakup of that union. It’s also believed that Lithuanian culture survived the Iron Curtain thanks to secret home schools and smuggled history texts, which makes its people sound really awesome.

We also like the country's surprisingly good basketball team and are super-jealous of its world’s-fastest-internet status.

 

18. Latvia

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Admit it: George Costanza’s failed attempt to convert to Latvian Orthodox is your only experience with this former Soviet republic. 

But while this Baltic state might not show up on anyone’s radar it’s home to some really interesting stuff. Its forests and generally unspoiled lands are unmatched in Europe, with stunning beaches to boot. And it hosts a weeklong Song and Dance Festival once every five years that’s truly epic.

17. Estonia

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Estonia is the third and last of the Baltic states, which are much more worthy of Western tourism dollars than any Francophile or Anglophile will ever admit. No longer under the grip of the Soviet Union, Estonia has become a surprisingly compelling place to visit, with lots of medieval history, an exciting city in the form of Tallinn and one of the world’s most beautiful national parks, Lehamaa. 

Also, it was the first country in the world to allow online voting in elections and has some of the world’s most mysterious meteorite craters. That has to count for something.

16. Czech Republic

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Don’t call it Czechoslovakia, don’t put ice in your pilsner and certainly don’t refer to the region it’s in as Eastern Europe. It’s Central Europe, and you’ll get yelled at for arguing otherwise. 

Make like every 20-something backpacker and head to Prague, then chill out and grab a pint along with that 15-link sausage sampler in this thoroughly satisfying European nation.

15. France

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Mon dieu, man, what gives? How did France end up as only the 15th best European nation? Sacre bleu! 

Let’s all just take some breaths and think about this. France has everything and always will, which is terribly frustrating. And they know this and so they deserve to be put in their place whenever possible. When asked to choose the most arrogant people in Europe, French people chose...themselves. That should tell you something. 

Sure, the food is perfection, the art scene is out of control and there’s enough history to fill several volumes of textbooks. But can’t the French be more humble about it!?

14. Ireland

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Lush landscapes? Check. Incredible dairy products? Check. Guinness for days? Check. An aversion to the UK? Check. 

Ireland is a beautiful place inhabited by strong accents, super-friendly locals and a distinct flair for a good time. Stereotyped to death, it still manages to evoke a charm and mystique that few other European nations can ever hope for. 

And congrats on finally besting France at anything (i.e., this important list).

13. Belgium

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Like France, but with better chocolate and beer. Like Germany, but with better chocolate and beer. Like the Netherlands, but with better chocolate and beer. Like anywhere, but with better — oh, you get the idea. 

The French fries here also destroy whatever pomme frites you’ll find in la République.

12. Austria

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Austria has everything Western Europe has going for it — palaces, world-class museums, unparalleled natural beauty — without all the crowds. It’s also a music-lover’s dream, with a rich classical-music history (Schubert,  Haydn and Schoenberg are all from here) and exciting contemporary live-music scene.  

And what about those tiny sausages from Vienna? How could you not like those, you heathen!

11. Croatia

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The darling of the former Yugoslavia, Croatia boasts incredible natural beauty and some of the most interesting food and drink in all of Europe. (Try the black risotto. Trust us.) It also has by far the most beautiful stretch of Adriatic coast and well over 1,000 islands to roam around. 

And yes, “Game of Thrones” filmed a lot of scenes along its Dalmatian coast. But considering the travesty that was the final season, that fact holds less appeal than it once did.

10. Germany

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There are many things that make Germany great, from its boots of beer to its divine cuisine (Pretzels! Spätzle! So many sausages!) to its distinctive mix of fraught history and progressive present. 

But all that pales in comparison to its really big words. 

We’re big fans of Germany mostly because of its language and the many awesome singular words that describe something more complex. Everyone knows schadenfreude and wanderlust, but how about kummerspeck and backpfeifengesicht? Respectively, they mean the weight gained from emotional stress and the need to slap someone in the face who definitely has it coming. 

The German language is the best language, basically.

9. Hungary

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You definitely need an appetite when you travel in Hungary, as it easily has the most underrated food scene in all of Europe. It might not be as refined as French food or as creative as Spanish cuisine, but it checks off all the boxes when it comes to simple and flavorful, starting with perfectly satisfying cheeses and breads.

Add to that a wine industry that’s also massively overlooked and enough urban-rural interplay to satisfy everyone, and we’ll pretend those centuries of autocracy were just a phase. 

8. Italy

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Italy has its quirks — half a million exorcisms take place there annually, wine flows freely from fountains in town squares and locals drink an unseemly amount of caffeine every day.

Then again, it has the best wine and food in the world and some of the oldest, most interesting cities you’ll ever see, from arts-hub Florence to history-mecca Rome to fashion-forward Milan. 

So really, it doesn’t matter how weird Italy can be. We’ll still never want to leave.

7. Sweden

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They put blonde hair dye in the water here and only eat cured fish, so how could it rank so high? 

Because of its global contributions to those little things called prosperity, equality, science and technology, and health, that’s why. 

Locals know how to treat strangers well, they actually give parents time off to raise their kids, and if the economy isn’t humming along, the government will pay you to leave your job and relax for a while. 

Actually, forget visiting Sweden. Can we move here instead?

6. Netherlands

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You must be doing something right when your country is known for its wooden shoes, mild cheeses, legal cannabis and insanely large flower industry. Bikes rule over cars. Dutch people are direct, tolerant and generally friendly. The cities are organized and clean, and the standard of living is as high as the tourists in Amsterdam’s red-light district. 

 

What’s not to love?

5. Poland

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We’re eagerly anticipating the reactions to this one. Yes, Poland is the fifth best country in Europe.

Why?

First of all, Poland is likely responsible for the bagel — a food so perfect that God must be Polish. It also has natural beauty, incredible cities, interesting food and tons of history, good and bad. Plus it's much more affordable to travel there than, say, all of Western Europe. 

And it’s on no one’s radar. Shine on, Poland.

4. Spain

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The siesta is real and you best not mess with it. In Spain, don’t expect to find a morning bun and coffee unless the morning starts at 1 p.m. What you will find is some of the best cuisine in the world, wines that are too delicious and affordable to be real, and a populace that just wants to party, sleep, party and sleep some more. 

There are pretty beaches and fascinating cities, and a ham that takes three years to make from a pig breed that only exists here. Yes, please. 

3. Greece

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Where would Western Civilization be without Greece? The sentinel of the Mediterranean gave us democracy, the Olympics, sunny days, the Greek Salad, the oldest written language still around and, according to Hollywood, big fat weddings. 

Aside from all those statues with the blank eyeballs, this place is magical.

2. Portugal

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Portugal has everything people love about Western Europe — food, drink, scenery, sunny beaches, history, memorable cities — in a smaller, cheaper and more accessible package. You’ll never find the tourist crowds of France, Spain and Italy, and none of the smug locals either. 

It’s also the third-most-peaceful country in the world, according to the Global Peace Index. And none of its neighbors are remotely close. 

Still, there's one European country that bests even it...

1. Denmark

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When it comes to the essentials in life, no one does it better than the Danes. They might not have the museums of France, the cuisine of Italy, the beaches of Spain and Portugal, or the wine of Croatia, but the overall quality of life in this Scandinavian country is tops in the world. 

It starts with incredible and affordable health care, housing and transit. But there’s so much more. Jobs are plentiful, education is accessible, pollution and crime barely exist, and people spend very little time feeling sad and depressed about the future. 

Danes even have a word called “janteloven” that basically means, we’re all equal and important and deserve each other’s respect. This makes it an awesome place to live in, an awesome place for all to visit, and the best country in Europe.

And that's just a fact.

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